Lessons from Motherhood · Uncategorized

Smile

Little A is now starting to smile, I can see his eyes beginning to focus in on things and when he sees me, he beams. It’s beautiful to see. He’s been looking around for weeks, following our voices and trying to see us.

One of my favourite hymns is written by Fanny Crosby, called my saviour first of all it talks about opening our eyes and seeing Jesus and knowing instantly that it’s Him.

Much like when little A’s eyes focus in on me and I almost see him realise I’m his Mum, the one who has been gently holding him and talking to him since he was conceived.

Seeing the joy in little A’s eyes reminds me of the joy to come when I open my eyes and see Jesus. Right now I see through faith, I hear His voice in His word and see His creation. But one day everything will be clear, I will have understanding, I will be held physically by Him, I will be able to put my head on His chest, like John did at the last supper.

Meanwhile I wait in anticipation while seeking Him, speaking with Him, reading His word and enjoying all the pleasures He has provided including my beautiful boys wonderful smile.

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Lessons from Motherhood · My Faith

Thankful

I was chasing Little S around to put on his jumper before we left the house, he was not happy with me and protested vigorously.  Finally I was able to distract him and get it on, after many tears once it was on he tearfully and quietly said ‘thankyou Mummy’. I smiled and gave him a hug and said ‘thats ok, sweetheart’.

Gratitude is something that has been on my mind recently, its something that has been bought up in my fellowship group also.

In the Bible it says in 1 Thessalonians 16:18:

16Rejoice evermore. 17Pray without ceasing. 18In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 

It is Gods will for us to give thanks in everything, whether pleasant or not. Little S thanks me and others a lot, weather its because we’ve given him a drink, an ice-cream and sometimes when I’ve done something that’s good for him even if he didn’t want it at the time.

In life we go through different seasons, somethings are just rubbishy and we don’t feel very grateful, but the word doesn’t say we should feel grateful, it says we should give thanks and that’s a different thing entirely. Jesus understands our pain and suffering and He does not enjoy it when we do suffer. However sometimes things are good for us even when we don’t want it. And God is always good, even during those times.

For me, gratitude isn’t an automatic thing but I’ve been thinking about ways I can be grateful and try to look for things to be grateful for, remembering that its the giving of thanks that we are commanded to do. Sometimes it helps to even write things down, then we can revisit when things get tough. We are not to be religious about it we don’t need to force anything, we can ask the Holy Spirit to show us and help us have a grateful heart towards Him. Anything that requires us to lean on Him, is a good thing.

I pray I can be like Little S and give thanks even when I feel grumpy and I am very grateful to The Lord for my little boy and the lessons I learn from being his mum. And the fact that he says thank you!

What are you grateful for? Give thanks to God today and remember His goodness in all things.

Lessons from Motherhood · Uncategorized

My Refuge

7 weeks ago the Lord blessed us again with another baby boy, our hearts are full and our home is complete with this little soul. It has been a very different experience than with little S but my love for little A is just as much, he is a very expressive baby and he has bought us all such joy.

One thing I am finding a bit harder this time is that I am unable to hold him as much as I did little S, I hardly put little S down but, this time I have a toddler to look after as well. However, I hold him as much as I can. Like little S he prefers to be in my arms and sleeps so much more soundly there. He doesn’t like being away from me right now as even though he is only a few weeks old, he knows who I am and that I love him deeply. He knows in mine (and his dads) arms is the best place to be as we provide his food, his comfort, his warmth, we hold him close and keep him safe. We are his entire world and he desires to be held by us. He can’t see us clearly but he knows we are there and that we are the ones who provide for him.

This is how it should be with Jesus, we are His children, He is our source of spiritual food, He is our comfort, Our peace, our safety  and He loves us deeply. He is the one who holds us close and loves to have us in His arms more so than I love to have my babies in mine. Go to Him, He is waiting to embrace you and hold you close.

For I both lay down in peace and sleep, for you, Lord, only makest me dwell in peace. Psalm 4:8

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I drew this one night when Little A had fallen asleep on me as I mediated on this blog post.

Lessons from Motherhood · My Faith · Scripture

Rollercoaster

Being a Mum is an emotional roller coaster ride. But then so is being a child, one minute little S is happy, giggling shouting ‘tickle Mummy tickle Mummy’ and chasing me. Next minute he can be in floods of tears and I’m not even sure why. I don’t know about other Mum’s but I find it really hard not to ride these emotions with him. It is exhausting.

One day last week little S had a bad day it seemed that no matter how clear the floor was he would trip over, he walked into things fell over himself and he got really fed up. Each time I would scoop him up cuddle him, check him over and try to be positive and encourage him to go and play. When hubby got home I was ready to cry myself, I felt useless and unable to help my little boy who is usually so happy and bouncy.

Bed time came round which he didn’t want to do despite being very tired. He got into bed feeling very sorry for himself, then he banged his head. It was the last straw for him and he cried, and cried. We sat with him feeling awful. Eventually he slept. I sat on the floor stroking his head and sobbed. I felt rung out and like an awful mother who couldn’t protect her baby from falling and getting frustrated at his own body. I wanted so much to remove that day and pretend it never happened.

As I sat I thought of the times I have wept and cried out to Jesus, especially in the early days, the many times I have fallen and how He is always there to pick me up. I thought of all the instances in the bible where He is sorrowful because of peoples pain, how He healed and comforted, and how He still does those things today. I know that He loves my boy more than I ever can and that He can be, and is, there for Him. I felt better knowing that He is on the side of my children as well as me, that He helps me to carry these difficult emotions and teaches me more about His love and compassion for us through them.

I am reminded of Matthew 7:11

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

I love my boy more than I ever thought possible but the Lord loves him more as He does all of us. I am so grateful that I can go to Him and cry and weep over the difficult days and He will sustain me, He helps me to continue to be there for Little S as He understands, He hurts too when Little S is hurting He knows how I feel and He cares about my whole family.

I am definitely beginning to understand what it means in Isaiah 40:11 where it says:

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

 

Thank you Lord.

 

 

Christian growth · Lessons from Motherhood

Moaning

As little S is now in full toddler mode, he is becoming more independent and insisting on his own way. This has so far been a learning curve for me and Im finding it hard not to be frustrated and to practice patience. Being 8 months pregnant does not help with this 😉.

The Lord God also became frustrated with the Israelites after they were freed from slavery in Egypt. They complained about everything despite the Lord providing food and water and shoes that never wore down.

Listening to little S has made me realise how frustrating it is to provide for someone and then they moan at you. He is such a lovely little boy and I love him dearly but this doesn’t mean that as he grows and pushes his boundaries that it isn’t hard some days to communicate to him when I know whats best.

Thinking on this reminded me of the times I have moaned about things and asked for an easier path. I am so grateful that The Lord is gracious and faithful and kind and patient as I struggle to be and I am reminded how I must lean on him and ask him for His strength to be these things towards my little boy.

2 years ago I prayed for something that I now have and I have been moaning about it, I have been ungrateful for this answered prayer simply because it wasn’t answered in my time and it wasn’t what I expected it to be. Oh how I am just like my little toddler! But God continues to bless me, continues to help me grow and learn in the difficult days so I can be more like the Lord Jesus.

Oh what a wonderful God I serve! One who’s mercy is there for me as it was for the Israelites.

Hebrews 13,8 Belper Coppice 22.11.08

 

Lessons from Motherhood · My Faith

Temptation

Being a Mum has taught me a lot about my walk with the Lord, it has shined a light on many things I do that I had no idea that I was doing.

Little S is now a full on running about, into everything toddler, we have found ourselves moving things higher and higher until even we can’t reach it.

We have a cupboard that had DVDs in it, once little S realised how to open the cupboard he was finding it loads of fun to pull them out, take of the covers and run around with them. So obviously I had to tell him to stop, a few times but eventually he got the picture. One day I watched him slowly move over to the cupboard, open it, and stand in front of the DVDs jumping up and down and getting upset because he knew he couldn’t touch them. I was right behind him telling him it was OK and showing him all his toys that he could play with but he wouldn’t acknowledge me. He got himself in such a state that I decided to move them elsewhere and put his toys in the cupboard instead.

It made me think… How many times have I been faced with temptation and refused to look around to my father who is waiting to help me?

The word says: 1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].

I was right behind little S ready to help him he was surrounded by his toys all of which he was allowed to have but he still stood in front of the DVDs getting very stressed. How many times has my Father been waiting to help me? How many times have I forgotten all the wonderful gifts and joys knowing Him has brought me because I was so focused on something that I shouldn’t have or do, something that would cause me harm. Forgetting all I had to do was turn to Him?

I ultimately ended up moving the DVDs and I know there are times that The Lord has removed something from my life that was interfering with my relationship with Him and if we do fall The Lord is so gracious and merciful as:

Lessons from Motherhood · My Faith

Treasure

Little S has a small money box where he puts his pocket money from his Mama. He has learned that if you give him a coin, to wait until you get his money box and then he will put in into the slot.

The other day he found my purse and in it where some coins, he sat and waited so I let him put some into his money box, he turned it over and discovered that he can open it, take them out and put them back in, which was a very fun game. While he was doing this he found a note in there which he pulled out, examined then threw it behind him.

This got me thinking. Because little S doesn’t understand money yet he had no idea that the note was worth more than the 20ps he was taking out and putting back, but they where shiny and more interesting to look at, so, in his mind, they must be more important of his attention. I have been thinking about all the things that I am drawn to in life, things that take me away from the more valuable time I should be spending with Jesus. Unlike Little S I should know better, but I still find myself logging into Facebook or putting on the TV instead of going to my Bible.

In Gods word it says:

19Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 21For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Matthew 13:44-46

It may be shiny and endearing and even make me feel a bit better in that moment, but it does not last, unlike the peace and joy of knowing Jesus. The Lord has promised so much to those of us that accept Him as their savior and that should be where my focus is, that should be my treasure, He should be what I desire more than anything.

It is hard, because I am a Mum and I am very tired, and when I get a moment I do tend to fall asleep. But I think  thinking about him, focusing on Him in daily life is seeking Him above all else. At the moment I have been guilty of focusing on problems, meetings, housework, crafts, social media, news events, my weight and what I eat. God  desires a deep relationship that involves all aspects of life, I can talk to him no matter where I am or what I am doing I can read and meditate on His word one verse at a time and its OK if I forget what I have read in the brain fog of changing nappies and dealing with tantrums. He understands that I have to deal with Little S, I have to cook meals etc but its where I point my heart that matters, that’s where my treasure lies and, like Little S’s notes that treasure is worth so much more that what I do focus on.

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