Gifts from God · My Faith

Hope in the midst of depression and anxiety

Revelation21 4:2

I had no intention of taking a couple of weeks off in the gifts of God study but as it is February, winter is still here (though we have had some sunshine!) I want to keep going with this to encourage myself and anyone else who may struggle in the winter months.

Despite being very tired I am actually not feeling too bad. I have been spending more time in the Lords presence and He has guided me to make some changes which have helped my fellowship with Him so much. This really does help me in my difficult days.

I have thought about the next gift and prayed about it and want to talk about hope. Something that the Lord gives to all who have repented, follow and love Him.

Vines Expositor Dictionary says:

Hope (Noun and Verb), Hope (For):

in the NT, “favorable and confident expectation” (contrast the Sept. in Isa 28:19, “an evil hope”). It has to do with the unseen and the future, Rom 8:24, 25. “Hope” describes

(a) the happy anticipation of good (the most frequent significance), e.g., Tts 1:2; 1Pe 1:21;

(b) the ground upon which “hope” is based, Act 16:19; Col 1:27, “Christ in you the hope of glory;”

(c) the object upon which the “hope” is fixed, e.g., 1Ti 1:1.

In Rom 15:13 God is spoken of as “the God of hope,” i.e., He is the author, not the subject; of it. “Hope” is a factor in salvation, Rom 8:24; it finds its expression in endurance under trial, which is the effect of waiting for the coming of Christ, 1Th 1:3; it is “an anchor of the soul,” staying it amidst the storms of this life, Hbr 6:18, 19; it is a purifying power, “every one that hath this hope set on Him (Christ) purifieth himself, even as He is pure,” 1Jo 3:3, RV (the Apostle John’s one mention of “hope”).

I love the fact that the hope we have is a happy anticipation. It is going to happen! The Lord is coming back and we will be with Him!

It also says that in Romans 15:13 that God is the God of hope. He is the author of it. So this means that when we repent and turn to Him then He gives us hope. Hope in our salvation and hope in the Lord Jesus, that one day we will be with Him in glory.

I don’t know about anyone else but it’s this hope that keeps me going, it’s this hope that gives me joy as it means that I am saved! No more searching, no more looking for answers as Jesus is the answer!

This gift is the reason I get up in the mornings, the reason why I keep going through the tough times, because I know one day it will be over and I wont be dizzy, anxious or depressed anymore. It also means that I can live joyfully now in this wonderful anticipation of being with Jesus in glory. It means that I need not worry (though I still do sometimes), I can be grateful and see all the wonderful things in this life that Jesus has given me. It means that I can lift up my voice in praise to my God, the author of my Hope! I can look to Him with love and follow Him, knowing that He is leading me home. That everything I face in this life is ultimately so I can grow, become more like Him as He desires to spend eternity with me.

I have heard it said that we shouldn’t just focus on ‘this bus ticket to heaven’. And while we must remember that our life for Jesus starts now, for those of us who find life really hard, who struggle to face some days, this bus ticket is  what we hold onto tightly as we look to Jesus. Don’t ever let go of your ticket and don’t let anyone tell you that your hope is not important, we are there a lot longer than we are here. Gods word is what matters and this is what it says:

 

   For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore comfort one another with these words. (1Thessalonians 4:18)
Sweet brethren, are you depressed? Is your anxiety gripping you so tightly that you can’t breathe? Are you worried? Tired? Don’t want to be here anymore? Be comforted be these words as I am, just hold on, don’t let go for He is coming and then:
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

 

 

Gratitude journal

Gratitude journal: Forgiven

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Last night as I sat down to do this page I thought about the biggest thing I have to be grateful for. The Lords sacrifice. This is what brings the peace, the joy, this is what reminds us who we are in Him, this is the reason why we sing and praise Him. When we think about The Lord, who He is and what He has done you cannot help but thank Him.

He lowered Himself and stepped out of eternity to become a man, He felt pain, He felt tired and He felt hunger. He was completely sinless. He kept the Jewish law (Gods law) fully.  He knew what was going to happen yet He still went ahead and allowed them to take Him. Those judging Him found no fault in Him but due to a tradition they were compelled to do as asked and let go a convicted murderer and kill The Lord Jesus in his place. He was beaten, He was mocked, He had to carry His cross to Calvary. We all know this story, (well I think most of us do) But it’s when we understand one important thing that we then turn to Him and humble ourselves before Him and thank him.

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While on that cross Jesus took on the guilt of every single sin of the world, everything that man has ever done in the future and in the past. Everything. He who is perfect took on the guilt of the world. Why? He loves us.  So that is why we rejoice because we feel that love and we know we are undeserving of it as He knows everything in our hearts yet He loves us and died for us anyway. And we rejoice because He didn’t leave us, He was risen again as He promised and now He will be with anyone who turns to Him and when we accept this gift and turn to Him we are justified in the eyes of God The Father. There is nothing we can do to earn this gift of salvation, it is all pure grace.

So, yesterday I thought about this and reminded myself of the best reason I have to be grateful to God. There is nothing I can do to express that gratitude and it is a debt I will never be able to repay. And one I am very very grateful for.

Romans 3:24 (KJV):  Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

 

Gratitude journal

Gratitude Journal

???????????????????????????????I thought I would pop by again with my thoughts on my first day of documenting my thankfulness to The Lord.

This was actually done yesterday and I was hoping to get the page finished today however I woke up today not feeling too great, I am very tired and I was very tempted to just not bother blogging but I realised it’s days like today that this is all the more important. I may feel ill and be struggling with anxiety but I still have a lot to be grateful for.

So yesterday while working on this page I was thinking about all the physical things I have in my life that I am grateful for. My family, my home, my bed, the fact that I have a husband who takes really good care of me, the fact we have food to eat. All these things I have and there are many people out there who would wish they had them. So why be grateful to God? Because it says in His word:

1 Chronicles 29:11 (King James Version (KJV)):
11 Thine, O Lord is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all.

Everything I have has been given to me by Him, He owns it all, He created it all. Nothing I can do can earn anything from Him and it has nothing to do with who I am or what kind of a person I am. Its all down to His goodness and mercy. Why He chooses to give some things to some people and not to others I do not know. I cannot see into anyone elses heart or lives like He can so I don’t know what He has given others, none of us do. I try not to take things on face value (which isn’t easy) as we never actually know.

???????????????????????????????All I know is what He has done for me and given me and I find myself taking for granted these things. So I am thanking Him and giving Him the glory for my being alive, for having the people I do in my life and for my home, my bed, the food I have to eat, my cats, my clothes as I have not done anything to deserve any of it. Thank you Lord.

God Bless

health · My Faith

Surgery

Page done the day after my surgery

So not long after I wrote my last post on going to the hospital I received a phone call from my surgeons receptionist asking if I could go in the next morning for my operation as they had had a cancelation. I am sure you can imagine my reaction. But I still said yes, I knew this was in Gods hands and He was leading this as He had done from the beginning.

It is now a week later and I can say it’s been a life changing week. The surgery was to remove a lump from my temple. I have had a small lump above my eyebrow since childhood but over the past few years it, or I believe it was that I dont know yet, started to grow and change shape. I ignored it at first plus I was so ill I hardly noticed it, I never looked in a mirror I didn’t see the point. Other people noticed it though and family was starting to ask and worry about it.

Before the op

However not long after I gave my life to Jesus in May 2013, I went back to the Drs (which was a shock to everyone as I had decided I would never go back again after the treatment I had had). While there my husband mentioned the lump as I had no intention of doing so and the Dr sent me to hospital. I was sent for an MRI last June but I couldnt do it as I can’t tolarate lieing flat so I thought I was discharged. Months later a letter came though the door asking me to go back. I realised then that The Lord wanted me to get this sorted so I went for an ultrasound and a CT both very hard but the Lord strengthened me each time I went.

They still didn’t know what it was so said the best course of action was surgery to get a proper diagnoses. Hence the phonecall last week.

As I look back I can see the Lords hand in all of this. The CT was a big challenge for me and I felt his presence during that so strongly. Every thing I have had to do He has calmed me and considering I suffer from anxiety I know it’s nothing to do with me. Before my operation I felt so peaceful, I had nerves of course I did but I just knew I was doing something I was supposed to be doing and that He was there and I was safe. I accepted my nerves and saw them for what they were and that feelings can not take me out of my Fathers hands.

The few days after were hard, I didnt take very well to all the meds or anasthetic they gave me and was very sick and couldn’t eat properly for a few days, but once again even though my body was shaking and I was being ill I felt peaceful deep inside. Its hard to explain. I think its something that can only be felt to be understood to be honest. This doesnt mean that I didnt cry and get upset because I did, it was a shock to my system and I was in pain (but not as much as I expected to be honest, Praise the Lord). The Lord continually reminded me of His presence and reassured me of His love, He knows my weakness and He understands. He does for all of us.

– This was taken yesterday after my stitches came out, looking at these pics I can’t believe I didn’t realise how much of a difference it made to me, I wasnt bothered by how I look and I’m still not. This wasn’t done for cosmetic reasons at all but I am surprised by how different I feel in myself now its gone.

I have received so much support and kindness from so many people its been overwhelming, I’ve had messages of’ support and so many people praying for me. I have a lovely friend who has been there for me who has provided emotional and spiritual support, I strongly believe the Lord has bought us both together. And then there’s my husband I can’t even begin with that one, he sat in the hospital for nearly 6 hours just so I didnt have to wait after being discharged, I don’t deserve him. He has looked after me since I became ill and I love him very very much. He encouraged me to keep eating, he worries so much when I can’t. I know he won’t read this I just pray that he knows how much I appreciate him and that I show and tell him enough.

I won’t know any more until the test results are back so I have no idea if this is the end or if there is any more to come. I do have a few things that will take time to get used to, my face looks quite different which I wasnt expecting and I dont know if I will gain movement back in my eyebrow (the surgeon did warn me of this) however I do know The Lord will be there no matter what happens as He doesn’t change. Ever.

I know that as health issues go this isn’t the worst thing that can happen but the Lord is there for us in all our trials, He knows our hearts and strengthens us especially those like me who are a little weaker than others. I don’t mind because I know in my weakness I allow Him to reveal His glory so I am happy to be weak.

 

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV

(I think this part of scripture is about persecution, but the Lord used it to help me through and I am very grateful to Him for it)

God Bless

healing · health · MAV · migraine associated vertigo · My Faith

My January

I know we are well into February but January was such an amazing month for me I really wanted to share. Since I became ill in 06 each winter has been increasingly hard. I usually get a migraine that lasts a few months and become very depressed. Each year I don’t tend to see or speak to anyone as I am so foggy and confused I cant concentrate just the slightest noise and movement is so uncomfortable and makes me very dizzy. This year has been very different. So I thought Id share my instagram photos.

New years eve I actually left the house! I went to my sisters and she did my nails and hubby played with her little doggy Juju 🙂

I started a cross stitch I got for my birthday last year, I think it might take me a while to finish though 😉

I finally finished my drawing module for uni! (the picture is one of my sketchbook pages)


Hubby took me out for a chai latte, I don’t get out of the car but it such a blessing to be able to enjoy such a small thing with him.

I blogged a lot last month, usually I only manage one at the most.

I started a little exercise regime, just a few weights, I haven’t managed to keep it up but I was pretty amazed that I felt like starting one at all!


I started drawing a bit more in my sketchbook, I want to start a bit of a daily project but I am mulling ideas at the moment for that.

Hubby received a curry cookbook for Christmas so every weekend we have had a ‘fakeaway’ I have tried lots of new flavours to me, he loves to cook and I am very blessed.

My sister and her family came over for dinner – this is huge the only other time was my 30th when we had the whole family over but that was in June when the winter migraine has eased back to the usual baseline. I’d never just had my sisters family over as it usually takes so much out of me.

I enjoyed doing some journaling.


I also had my younger sister and her husband over for curry as well!

I managed 2 walks and the second I took my camera and took some photos for resource material for uni.

I wrote to a dear friend, I am trying to write to people a lot more as I feel it is a nice way to let someone know they are in your thoughts.

The last week (after my walk) I caught a cold so rested with Layla, I read a lot though which is something else I could never normally do especially in winter.

I can’t quite believe it to be honest this is the busiest January I have had in seven years. I truly believe it is all down to God, He gives me the strength to keep going and He is guiding me all the way in my recovery.

I hope you all had a wonderful January too! The beginning of February has turned out to be a bit of a life changing week, but I will blog about that next time. God Bless you!

Gratitude

Thankful

So after some heavy blog posts I thought I would share some lighter things with you today 🙂

I stopped doing my gratitude lists when my work load got heavy late last year, one of the many things I was unable to do which ultimately made me worse again. So I feel its time to start this again, its all the sweeter now I know who it is I have to thank! 🙂

So here are some things I am grateful for at the moment:

1: I had a visit from my nephew today, he is growing up so fast and was a big ball of happy energy, such a pleasure, made me laugh lots!

2: A successful crop of potted veg. Not just because we have some wonderful food that has come from our garden but also I was able to see this through, from planting to watering and then harvesting. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to actually see something through to the end and not been forced to give it up part way. I thank God for these little projects that are slowly building up my confidence and belief in myself.

3. Gestures of kindness, the lovely Claire offered to send me a magazine to read as she is aware that they are a bit of a rare treat for me. She sent me a crochet magazine I haven’t been able to read yet.
4. Making bath bombs with my sister. I will post more about this soon as its on my bucket list. It sure was a lot of fun!
I feel so blessed to have these moments and memories, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life as each day brings new blessings. I am so grateful for the people in my life, for the food I eat and my home 🙂

What are you grateful for?

God Bless!