I have it on my heart to share this.
Last week I started to feel tired, I have been doing a lot more and from years of inactivity my body has lost muscle mass and my joints and bones have weakened so I get tired easily. But, more importantly not only did I feel tired in my body I felt tired in my spirit.
I dont know why but I thought there was something wrong with me. Everywhere I looked I saw people being horrible to each other, I saw people acting in a way that made me feel uncomfortable, a few other things happened and I started to question everyone I saw and spoke to (mainly online as I still dont get to talk to many people in the flesh, so to speak.) I became distrustful, then I started to question myself. It was a very quick snowball effect that eventually had me wondering if I was truly saved.
I broke down one night and when I came to pray I didnt know what to say, I found I couldnt pray I just didnt know how to express what was happening with me.
Then, to try and take my mind of of things I looked at my blog reader, I had a lot of blogs to catch up on and this came into my feed.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.”
Then this blog post, telling me to look to Jesus and not to the world, to focus on His life and what He went through.
I knew the Lord was telling me what to do, so I am doing it and even though I still feel very physically tired I know that I am safe, that I am loved and that I am saved and my spirit grows stronger as I grow closer to Jesus.
I thought that I was the only one who felt this way. But I realised that there would be no need for the Lord to say these words in scripture if no one else went though this.
So I just want to say to anyone who is feeling dragged down by the world, by the nastyness, by how we treat each other and by the people who claim to follow Jesus then say things about Him that are so wrong and hurtful it hurts your spirit to hear it. Look to Him, seek Him, learn about Him and all those things will fade away.