It feels like it been a long time since I posted something here, and it actually wasn’t. Its just a lot has happened.
Things are continuing to improve and I am still getting out more, I have managed some walks into town alone (wow) and have been out shopping with family a couple of times too. I am still seeing more of my family, we had a lovely bonfire night celebration at my sisters new home.
We are still continuing to do home improvements and are starting our living room at the moment. The garden is all packed up and hubby has a couple of pumpkins that he is very excited about trying.
However I am not sure if that’s all that I should be focusing on anymore. It is so wonderful to share how the Lord has been helping me in practical ways and I do love to share (and still will!) but it’s what happens in my heart that is more important.
The past month I have been fighting tiredness, fatigue and confusion again, I am not very motivated and I have been feeling a little down as I haven’t been able to do as much as I was and I haven’t done much at all in the way of creativity, there are reasons for this that I am not ready to share just yet. But I do really want to battle this though and the only way to do so is by immersing myself in Gods word, worshiping Him and thanking Him for the blessings He gives me. That is why I have come here as doing things like this online helps to motivate me and encourages me to be a little more disciplined. I have to say though this is nothing compared to what I have been though before and some of the reasons I am going through this are good ones. I know this will pass and I just want to use it as an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and I haven’t been doing that. I am hoping blogging about it will help me.
I ended up having to move my blog, it looks a little different now, I simplified it so I can just concentrate on getting through this down time and, hopefully I can share how knowing the Lords helps this. Just because I have become a Christian doesn’t mean that bad feelings go or illness or pain yes, He does take these things away for some people, but I don’t know of any instance where He takes it all away. I have a few theories why, but who am I to know or question this? However if you wish people to come to you because they want to know and love you, giving everyone what they want isn’t really going to achieve that. Plus, how do we grow and change if we don’t go through trials? How do we get stronger in Him, how do we learn to care about others if we don’t understand what it feels to hurt? And the wonderful thing about knowing the Lord is He carries out burdens when they are too great so we don’t burn out and we can come out stronger for it, leaning in His strength.
I know that if I have the right attitude about this I will come out with a stronger faith and a closer walk with Him. I have to admit my attitude hasn’t been great so far but everyday is a new day.
So, one thing is, I am going to start a gratitude journal again, I am ashamed to admit I have fallen into some old thought habits and have been a little self piteous. There are so many people suffering so much more than I ever have and have a better attitude than me and I have a great many things to be grateful for. I shall share them here as I go along.