When I came home with Little S, I was so shocked by how deeply I had the need to hold him. In fact his Dad and I hardly put him down for the first few months of his life. I held him all day and it felt wonderful, some days were very hard as I struggled to calm him down, not knowing why he was crying. I was exhausted from it and had a relapse of my dizzyness, but he was so worth it. I just wanted to look at him all the time hold him close as I was amazed by this little precious life I’d been given to take care of. In my eyes he was perfect and I’ve never felt love like it. The need to take care of Him was so deep.
It reminded me of when I first turned to Jesus. I felt so elated but also overwhelmed as I was still very ill and at the beginning of a long journey. The Lord held me close the whole time, He never put me down and as Little S slept in my arms most of the time, I rested in the Lords arms, like Little S would cry when he needed something I cried often (daily in fact) turning to Jesus for comfort. He fed me (1 peter 2:2) and He held me, He did everything for me and really made His presence felt for the first few years. The difference is, He never grew weary or tired as I did, He never became frustrated from not knowing what I needed as He always knew. Much like how a new Mum holds their baby, comforts them, feeds them God does this with all His newborns and His love is so deep for us, even more so than mine is for Little S. When We first come to Him we hold a special place in His heart and He desires to hold us close and protect us.
Like Little S has done we do grow and we need less reassurance but we will always need our Father to guide us and comfort us, we will mature in Him and grow in Him as we study His word, talk to Him, walk closely with Him our relationship with Him changes as mine has with Little S, he still needs lots of cuddles and lots of help but I stand back a little now and only step in when he gets in a mess. Like little S I don’t cry as much now and I am learning new ways to communicate my needs and desires. But even though our relationship with Him changes, He never changes and the loving caring Father who held me so tightly for the first few years of my life with Him still loves me just as deeply and always will. As he does for all us.
and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3